Sense of humour

Humour is something, I feel like is individual for each person. Some like dark humour, some like the silly one, some like the ones that make you think, some like the ones that make fun of others … everyone their taste.
So I didn’t really plan to write anything on this one, but apparently it’s an ADHD thing … we seem to have a strange sense of humour – I was told – which causes us to struggle with relationships at times. Alright .. let me think if that’s the case for me ..maybe on the lower part of the spectrum for this one.

Once I started paying attention I noticed that I actually told people a lot that “I’m just kidding” after I said something to make sure they understood that I was joking, because apparently I can leave people confused with my sarcastic answers to their questions or comments about things that have been said.

That’s true. Like my best friend asked me one time if I went to the hairdresser like I planned and I could not help it but say” yea … and I had them cut it like this …” and I would send a picture of a man with kinda like short hair. Which I suppose left her confused. What did you do??? Why the hell would you do that?!?!
Ehm … ok now seeing I figured that this upset her I could just say I was kidding, but now I’m fascinated why you would care and I can’t stop myself to just go deeper into it …
“why, don’t you like it?”

Why don’t you like it?! It looks fanastic! – No, it doesn’t! – Why not!!
And then when we are too far into the conversation I’d be like .. I was just kidding .. just to leave them confused and not believing me anymore that I was actually joking and I had to open the camera to proove that my hair didn’t change. Just then to hear myself say … “actually those are hair extentions because I thought she cut too much, so … kidding!!!! kidding!”
The other problem of ADHD – we don’t know when to stop. Anything .. including the kidding!

Maybe also the urge and ability to think very fast, but not slow enough to put on the breaks in my brain to tell myself, this is not the time to say that …that’s why I love writing.
So I can understand why my sense of humour is not for everyone, and I just learned in life to stay calm and not talking too much in general, I also stopped being funny. Until recently when I stopped pretending being somebody I’m not.
If you care to get to know me, you will understand that I may be kidding... or not, who knows, always presume that I am, in case of doubt!

I’m also not the type of person you can watch any comedy movies with, which can have an influence on relationships, I suppose? If your partner loves comedy movies maybe. Actually I generally hate comedy movies with a passion. Totally senseless for me.
I like movies that either have action (dopamine) in it or they make me think. Anything else is a waste of time for me (comedy, romance .. not me) and I literally can not sit still in the seat. It physically pains me to have to sit and watch. You will find me change position every 5 seconds, bouncing my legs or playing with my hair, falling asleep is a favourite also … or just simply blanking out and thinking about something totally not related. So please don’t ask me after the movie how I liked it or which part I found especially touching … but watch action movies with me or movies based on real stories or anything that makes you think about life .. let’s talk! I’m all yours!

The same goes for stand up comedy … I can’t stand stupid and useless comedy. I hate those who make fun of others, I don’t know why. I have to walk away if they do that.
Too sensitive maybe.
I recently saw a show by somebody who apparently is known to make fun of people in the first rows. And the minute the show started he made fun of somebody who was very obese. And everybody was laughing and the man himself, included. But I could see that he was only laughing because the camera was on him. He can’t possibly have found those jokes funny as they were quite harsh to a degree. I wasn’t able to continue watching. I couldn’t understand what was happening. Why would somebody make fun like that and why would others even laugh about those, that was too much .. it’s cruel!

But I absolutely love those comedians that make you think and use your brain, that are couragous to say things, others don’t dare to and make humanity think about things that go wrong in this world. Those who use their voices and gifts for a greater cause!

Weirdly enough though I saw a standup one time where somebody was making fun of deaf people. And normally that would set me off, right? But this is what happened:
The comedian framed his show by saying that a deaf person came to him and asked him why he never made jokes about deaf people? And he said, well, that’s not a nice thing to do, you don’t make fun of deaf people for their disability.
And that person then said, that is discrimination. You should do it! And so I’m doing this to honor this deaf person who basically asked me to come up with jokes about deaf people.
That in return … I was able to watch, because it was not nasty, if that makes sense, he thought he is pleasing somebody and probably others in the same circumstance. And for some reason, that turns it into something good – in my mind.
So even our sense of humour seems to be influenced by our sense of injustice and all those things that come with it.

I was told .. ADHD is the bottom layer of your psyche. It is your brain, end of the story. And everything else will build on this. So basically every single area of your life is influenced by ADHD and your way of thinking because of it – even the things you will laugh about.