Random thought: Sharing gratitude – Be kind

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I have a habit … maybe an unusual one, I don’t know. But I started it a few years ago and I never told anyone about it.

One of my friends is a psychology professor at the UCLA. She told me that during a time of depression she started writing a gratitude journal. In the morning and in the evening. You find 3 things you are grateful for and why … and they can not be the same unless the reason for it changed. She told me that got her out of depression.

I thought, that sounds nice, we always say thanks for the most obvious things like our eyes, having a roof over our heads or clean water … but once you are done with the obvious it becomes a little more tricky to come up with things to be grateful for.
Well, ADHD-style, we like difficulty, so … let’s take on the challenge. .. I started a gratitude journal for the fun of it.
What it did for me was that I started appreciating even the smallest of things, like seeing a bee sitting on a flower. You become conscious about the beauty in this world and all the things you have, you become conscious about how insignificant you are in the sight of nature and how insignificant events sometimes become in the face of time.

It is a habit that I pass on to my children, even though they are still little. But every night before sleeping we think of 3 things we are grateful for and things that happened during the day that made us feel a certain way. I understood how much they appreciated this moment we shared and to hear when I told them that I’m grateful for them and things they did well and I was proud of them for.

This is not the habit, I was talking about before. The habit is that I have always heard so many negative things about myself that it became hard for me to believe when somebody said something nice to me. And I would have wished people had told me things that I did well.
I always understood that I was different. But to a certain degree I liked the way I was thinking. And I thought to myself … if I don’t understand the world or I don’t like the way it works, then I should not try to be like them, but rather be the change I would like to see.

So I made it a habit to tell people compliments about things they have done well or what I appreciated about them, just like I tell my children every night – whenever I would see somebody do something nice in my eyes. I did not know what an impact a small gesture or a small compliment like that can have at times.

I would like to share a few examples with you. Not to show you what a nice person I am, but to show you the impact a few nice words can have and to maybe start a habit like this yourself … You can make somebody happy.

A couple of years ago I had to go to the emergency room. My heart was acting up … nothing serious .. apparently just an overdose of omega 3 (who knew that that was possible and would cause this!). Anyhow, while I was laying in the overcrowded hospital, a young male nurse came along (and I just learned a new word .. murse = male nurse! I love the squirrel effect!)

He seemed like one happy puppy while he was putting that needle in my arm, the heart monitor and taking blood .. we starting chatting and we talked and laughed a lot … who would have thought a hospital could be fun while you were worried about your heart condition! I knew that he was stressed, people are shouting left and right and everything is quick but he would stay around and be there for the people he felt needed an extra dose of happiness. When my exams were done and I could go home, I crossed him on the way out and I saw his face changed. He looked concerned and stressed.
I don’t remember what exactly I said to him, but something along the lines that I was happy that he was my nurse, that he made me feel good and less worried that he chose the right profession and I don’t know what else. His eyes lightened up and a big smile appeared on his face and he asked me if he could give me a hug. He told me that he had never met a more amazing person and told me to please never change and gave me one big hug. I did not expect that response, to be honest, but I was happy that I made him happy.

A few weeks ago I decided to send an emotional message to one of my mentors. I wouldn’t even say one of my mentors, but THE mentor who taught me everything about how to teach English in a fun way, which then developed into a whole teaching methodolgy and understanding of how education should look like and how things are possible when traditional ways seem to fail.
He has not just always been an inspiration with the way he taught but also with his charity work and kindness. He would go to countries like Africa and support the learning in poorer areas as an example … anyhow, an inspiration.
And I sent him a long email about the effect he had on my teaching and how I ended up where I am now thanks to him, even if we didn’t speak for years and years on end now.

I told him how much I appreciated everything he did and I would write each point out, not general thanks, but what exactly I learned from him. And thank him for being who he is. I didn’t get an answer, so I wasn’t sure he really got the message. So I sent a message on social media asking him to check his spam folder.
He told me, no, I got your email. I just kept it there to read it over and over again, because it was so beautiful. And then to take the time to answer you the way you deserve it. You know, I have had a very hard personal year and to read what you wrote means so much to me. Thank you for telling me all this!

A few days ago I sent a message to somebody I follow on instagram who shares a lot on ADHD – a neuroscientist. I learned a lot from him and I thanked him for being such a valuable resource and having been a guiding light for me personally to navigate the whole thing. I didn’t even expect an answer back but he did answer and told me how much that meant to him, because just before a troll had made his life hard and he had thought about dropping the whole thing.

In the shop around the corner works a girl that seems always happy. She got told off very badly by some random guy for something that was not her fault. I was not there but I heard about it and went to the shop and gave her a motivational speech. I told her what a kind person she is and that I appreciate her a lot and that she is the reason I come to this shop and don’t go to the next. Then I bought two small chocolate bars and gave her one and we shared our bars while talking. Now she is extra happy when I walk through the door in the shop which in turn makes me happy also to see her face lighten up when she sees me.

It took me 5 minutes to write my message. It took me 2 minutes to tell that nurse , it took me 30 seconds to write a message on instagram … it takes no time but you can make others so happy.
But how often do we focus on the negative and are quick to criticize and judge and we let everyone know about that. But we rarely take the time and tell people .. hey, well done!

And how often did I see now that one tiny comment or gesture that doesn’t cost you anything can have a huge impact on people because they may go through things you don’t even see.

Help the world to be a better place, be the change you want to see!